What—the—hell. Doing two Pokémon reviews back to back—I’m on a roll. Never thought I would blog about the same thing twice, much less do two posts in a week. Maybe I’ll get a Rainbow Wing or something.
At first, I really wanted to like this movie. Why? Because I prematurely saw some of the reviews, partly, something I don’t usually do, as that can affect my views on the movie, or at least prove a challenge for me when I’m trying to form my own opinion.
Sadly, I was wrong about all of that. Word of advice, don’t see this movie if you’re into memes—because that’s all that this was.
I don’t understand, Pokémon movies are usually great, so I don’t get why this one was—cringe. I was yet to see a Pokémon movie that completely disappointed me, until today.
At first, the logics of the sequence of events was hard to not notice, but I quickly disregarded that, as I wanted to give it a chance. But it was just meme, after meme, after meme. Were they even aware of what they were doing when they made this movie?
I hate situations like this, where a company brings in new persons for a franchise, sometimes ones who have no clue as to what’s going on, and they try to come up with “brand new” ideas, and completely end up tanking everything.
This is not Pokémon Go! It’s bad enough you screwed up the games, now you’re going after the movies too? Gosh, you make me so angry.
I’m not saying that’s the case, that they brought in new persons to make this movie, but it seems like it. Because even though this was set in the past, about events we never saw, despite all that, you can still tell-it’s evident that it all makes no sense.
And why was Pikachu talking? But I’ll get to that soon.
Boy, my idea is that when a company feels as if they’re running out of juice for their company, franchise, game, or whatever, they should just start fresh. You have better chances of birthing a new series, than trying to have your successful one drawn out, and driving it into the ground.
I heard all the noise on the Internet, but I never wanted to look at anything yet, until I saw it. And frankly, maybe if I did, I would save myself some time—approximately 1 hour and fifty-two minutes.
Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You!—great name by the way—was like a jaw-dropper, in a bad way.
It was too fast paced for my taste, and what was up with those constant, random evolutions. It’s been a while since I got back into the Pokémon anime series, but I’m almost sure, they never had Pokemon frequently evolving, even in the midst of battle.
I get that they were trying to bring back the old in a new light, and companies do that at times to bring in more revenue, and that’s fine. But did they seriously think that no one would notice the random mixture of Pokémon from different generations.
Forget the fact that Ash never met Ho-Oh, until some seasons after he got at least six Pokémon, at least from my memory——it’s been awhile—but why was there an Incineroar?
And where was this outrageous fascination with Pokémon he’s never seen before, and always immediately after pulling out his Pokédex?
Where was that?
It was just like watching some meme-y Youtube video, which aren’t bad, you just don’t expect that in Pokémon.
There are so many things wrong with that movie, it’s hard to pinpoint where to start.
I’ll give them credit, the opening was great—fantastic. When I saw Blastoise spinning through the air, it brought me back.
Then all of sudden, they just make one screw up after another.
I get it, you don’t have to bring back, or introduce, Brock or Misty, you’re trying something new. But please at least don’t replace Gary with some textbook character who somehow has a Generation Pokemon in the Kanto region.
Before you jump down my throat, yes, it is possible to have Pokémon from different regions, regardless of where you are. But Incineroar battling a Charmander, when Ash is just starting out on his journey isn’t something we wanted to see.
In this particular case, it would have been okay for you to use the exact same elements that you had when you started out. We would have given you a pass, you were going back to the roots. And for some of us, even though you may have taken it for granted, that was slightly emotional.
But all I did was laugh. When I heard Pikachu say some cringe-worthy line about, “Because I want to be with you always”, I was dying.
Everything was so random.
Here’s where I’ll give it to you though, the Marshadow introduction was top notch, ironically, and surprisingly, it never felt out of place. Which is an indication, a big indication, of where you should have taken the next movie.
You probably shouldn’t have run the risk of screwing the storyline up, which you did, and ruining Pokémon potentially for those who grew up on it, and your newest and youngest consumers.
Nobody wants to watch Ash repeat some textbook line through out the movie, “Listen up you! You don’t know who I am, I’m Ash Ketchum from Pallet and…” Blah, blah, blah-blah, blah, blah.
I know Pokémon was corny from before, but it was always in a good way, like the guideline for which all anime follow—the corny rule.
But this, I don’t know what this was.
I don’t want to check the facts, which I probably should, because it can ruin my ranting experience, but I’m almost sure Ash got Charizard at least when he was with Brock and Misty, or after he met them.
Oh, and another thing, I though a big part of the Pokémon series, was that Ash wanted to conquer Pokémon Gyms as well.
So he wants to fight, head on, a legendary Pokémon, one of the strongest in the story lines, with little Gym Badges, and three Pokémon?
I know he was a little stupid, but not this stupid—come on.
Let me ask you something Pokémon executives, or heads, or whatever. Do you hate us? Why are you screwing things up for us? The ones who you first introduced to this wonderful gift called Pokémon.
Is our money not good enough for you again? Do we need steal our mom’s credit cards for you to see our money as valuable? Because I’ll do it—I’ll do that right now. Hold on-
There, done! A Kickstarter campaign to save Pokémon, the now endangered species—and franchise.
I’m all burned out. Now matter what you do, some things are inevitable I guess.
You disregarded our pleas to make an actual good, official Pokemon for once in a while, instead of dropping everything into Pokémon Go.
We deserve much more respect. And now you give us this? A half-assed Pokémon movie.
Shame. What a shame.
I don’t want to be that one neck-beard complaining over forgotten Yu–Gi-Oh cards, and why Squirtle is the best. But you could have at least put some effort into this movie.
The sad part is, I watched all of it—to the very end.
And the only thought going through my head was, what is this?
As I said before, introducing Marshadow was a nice touch, it was my first time seeing him, and you didn’t do too bad there. However, screwing up the two main characters, Pikachu and Ash was not cool.
It’s like you were laughing at us and saying, “Look at them, these idiots, they’ll never notice. Watch, we’ll just drop Lycanroc in and they’ll go bananas. We’ll lining our pockets for days.”
Let me take you on a trip down memory lane, as to what a real Pokemon movie was.
I’m talking about Pokémon: The First Movie. Now that, was a movie.
Sure, the graphics weren’t as great as to what’s being produced now, but it wasn’t as rushed, compared to what I just watched.
When I got the opportunity to see the first Pokémon movie I was thrilled. I’m not even afraid to admit it, I even cried a little back then when Ash got turned into stone, or became petrified I think—essentially he wasn’t alive.
Speaking of dying, does Pokémon hate Ash? Because he dies in this movie too.
Not only does this kid not age, but he has some sort of immortal powers, or the gods of Pokémon world must favor him. Whether he dies or just vanishes, he gets revived or something.
The attacks in I Choose You! were ridiculous as well. Why is it that right after those absurd evolutions, Ash knows immediately moves that the evolved form would know?
They were on the right track, at first, then they changed their complete approach by trying to distort the whole storyline.
I only can imagine when they were at the drawing board they were like, ” Put this, no, put that!”
You can argue that the previous movies were not the best, but there was no disputing that this one completely missed the mark.
I can pick on every single point, but I won’t do that, or else I run the risk of sounding like an entitled, picky fan. But that’s not how I remember the original story. I guess they thought the first generation of Pokémon fans no longer watch, or follow up on Pokemon.
Really, I was hoping to see Brock and Misty, Brock at least, seeing as they seem to prefer him when they’re bringing back an old character. These “pals” of Ash, weren’t bad themselves. Explain this to me though, how do you go from battling for the sake of ego, to being absolute best friends?
Then, Pikachu was never that playful, nor happy. He was just one of the most stubborn Pokémon in the entire series, well in the beginning at least where it counted the most.
And if they weren’t going to have Jesse, James, or Meowth interact with the gang, then what use was it in trying to include them?
See what I’m talking about? Entitled fan.
They should have just made a Sun and Moon movie. No matter what, it was hard to screw up the movies. All you had to do was just follow the anime, manga, and video games, and you would be good.
They’ve followed the exact same formula for years, then suddenly just make a completely different turn.
When I saw Marshadow appear randomly throughout the movie, I thought it was going to be huge mess, but surprisingly, that was the most interesting part of the movie, even way better than when Ho-Oh appeared.
The Pokemon battles weren’t too bad, at least they never messed that up. But the finale was—eh.
I felt Suicune, Entei, and Raikou should have made an appearance at the end, Ente at least since he showed up more than once.
And being that this took place in the Kanto region, there should have been more Generation One Pokémon. It’s so lame that they went for mostly Generation 7 ones, and they couldn’t have least shown some of the trademark Pokémon from the original series, like Psyduck, or Koffing, at least bring back that one Jigglypuff that marked everyone’s faces after singing everyone to sleep.
You know which region was my favorite? The Johto region. Cyndaquil is probably my favorite Pokemon of all time, and Chikorita and Ash seemed like a good pair.
Whenever you do a reboot, if it’s not done right, you could have some angry fans on your hands. And this scenario happens more often than not.
Like, as I said before, the Child’s Play series—they get that wrong, every, time.
The most successful reboot to date, to me, is probably It. As a person who watched the original, I have to say the new It was good.
That’s what I’m talking about, they got it right, so why can’t everyone else?
At the start when Ash was choosing his Pokemon, they showed Gary, but never included him in the story. I get that the cameo was supposed to boost nostalgia for the die hard Pokemon fans, but not including him in the story was a big mistake. The rivalry between Gary and Ash was a big part of the original series of Pokemon.
Then they jump straight from Ash, not only just acquiring Pikachu, but not even mastering the fundamentals behind Pokemon battles, to trying to capture a Pidgey.
This movie was all over the place. The random trainers Ash teamed up with, that we never heard of before, never served any real purpose, in my opinion. Just work with what you got, and persons wouldn’t have been upset with the movie.
What kind of ticked me off, was most of these scenes and encounters were with Brock and Misty. I know I complained about them not showing up before, but if you’re going to use scenes that they were clearly apart of before, just don’t tell an entirely different story and pretend they didn’t exist.
And another thing, why was Lucario there? Most of these Pokemon included in the movie, were Pokemon that Ash went crazy over when they appeared for the first time. He would immediately pull out his Pokedex, now, all of a sudden he just pretends like nothing happened, and that’s just normal.
Sure, a Pokemon that showed up from a few generations away, nothing to see here.
Within that span, of what I assume is a couple of days, Charmander evolved, without much pressure, straight to Charizard—without Brock, without Misty.
What are you doing?
My blood pressure is going up. When we see Caterpie for the first time, after one attack, it evolves. And how convenient it is that Metapod can somehow be one of Ash’s go to Pokemon, he was completely useless before.
I know, I know, it sounds like I’m complaining, but I have to point out how absurd all of this. They just rushed everything just to include Ho-Oh.
Couldn’t you have used some other part of the series?
The random pop-ins of Team Rocket only to be blasted away seconds after we could have done without, if you’re going to bring them in, at least let them try to capture Pikachu first. It’s what they did, it’s what they do, for years. They didn’t even once use some contraption or machine, all they did was just sneak around and provide useless commentary.
As I said before, one big meme.
That random old man was never necessary too. Bringing him in because they saw him in some book was ridiculous. Was he supposed to help them? When they were 90% finished with their quest? When they were just about to meet Ho-Oh?
When Ash died in the end, I was wondering why does he even have Pikachu?
You’re about to fight one of the strongest legendary Pokémon, and you don’t have a Pokemon in your arsenal that can even protect you from regular danger.
Some trainer you are.
Then he comes back somehow, through the power of friendship.
One of the most interesting parts though, was when Marshadow possessed all the other Pokémon. That was pretty cool. But I’m not done with you yet.
The lore made no sense. Marshadow is some sort of guide that’s supposed to protect the world from darkness or whatever, and then suddenly when everything goes wrong, he switches sides, or becomes the main villain at least.
Sorry, but I have go back to this again. So Pikachu can hold his own against Marshadow, but can barely defend Ash and himself against the other Pokémon—controlled by Marshadow?
There was no reason to sacrifice himself here too. I get where it was necessary the first few times in the other movies, but he literally just stood there and took blast from about at least ten Pokémon, instead of leaving with Pikachu, or at least trying to get out of the way.
It was so cringe to watch.
I can’t give it to you guys this time man, it’s too much. And can you at least make a good Pokémon game, instead of these mediocre additions to the series?
What’s going on? Everything I loved as a child is fading away.
Digimon? You can fade away-and don’t touch me.
They should just leave Pokémon alone before it gets any worse. Just start new. That’s all it takes.
You’ve got geniuses over there, I’m sure you all can come up with the next big thing. It’s not that hard.
Obviously, I can’t do it, but I have full faith in you guys. You’ve survived over the years, so that sets you apart from everyone else.
I can’t wait for the new Pokémon game on the Nintendo Switch, I have to see what’s become of this-if the leaks don’t reach me first.
That’s another thing too, why won’t you all fix the leaks? You guys are worse than Apple.
Sure leaks are fun from time to time, as when in the right proportion they heighten anticipation, but overdo it, and all you have is a lackluster reveal when it’s time to actually drop the game.
I know this small voice on the Internet doesn’t mean much for you, executives on the Internet, but please do this for all of us-please?
We have nothing else, seeing one of our favorite things in the whole wide world, crumble before our eyes is not a pleasant sight. It makes you feel sick to the stomach. Like the medicine your mom forces you to take to make you feel better, which ironically, makes things worse.
If this doesn’t stop, I’ll take my business elsewhere—-simple as that. Now if I can just find my mom’s credit card, then I’ll show you I’m not playing around.
Give us more Pokémon when you unveil a new Generation, instead of giving us only a handful, and just using previous generations as fillers.
We want new designs, and great Pokémon names, like how you used to produce. And stop using previous Pokémon as cut outs, and just giving them new names like we wouldn’t notice, or just giving them new types.
I’ve seen Pikachu at least five times across three generations, and I bet there’s even more, as I’m just going from the top of my head.
You know what would be nice? If we got those samae designs from the original Pokemon games. The world I feel isn’t ready for 3-D Pokémon as yet.
The only time that should be even apart of mainstream, is if we can actually catch, and not in Pokémon Go, because that’s not Pokémon. I’m talking about the real Pokémon.
I’ve always had this idea as a child, that one day we could possibly catch Pokémon that we could actually interact with. This would be all virtual of course.
Just have them there, like a Tamagotchi pet, but even better. Probably when A.I. reaches the point where it renders us humans as a threat to the planet, we can get that. But for now, I can dream can’t I?
If these trends won’t stop popping up, I’ll never finish my book review in time.
Maybe I should just forget this book altogether. I’m just forcing it anyway. I mean, it is a great book, but I feel I won’t finish it time so I can do a review to jump on the hype train.
Harry Potter is cool, I just feel, as it wasn’t for me when it was out, I don’t think it’s for me now. I liked the first book, as it read very well. But I’m just winging it now.
I need someone to recommend some books to read, that’s what I need. Sadly, I’m a lonely neck-beard, and as such, don’t hold conversations well, so it will be some time before that happens.
Wow, never realized I cared about Pokémon so much. It’s after midnight, and I’m still up, talking about the glory days of my Dorkdom.
Note to self, also need to cut my nails. Even trolls can have good personal hygiene. Like the type you would see in those ’80s commercials.
Is there anything else I want to rant about? Let me see—hmm?
I guess not. I’ll just type some random word from here on, because I feel bored. Eat, sleep, eat, sleat, eesps. That should do it.
If you didn’t catch that, that was my to do list. There’s much for me to do as you can see.
Before I go to, as I don’t know when my next post will be, I have to give myself a pat on the back. Two blog posts in a row? I still can’t believe it. I must be getting some heavenly power or something.
Whatever I got, I have to bottle it up, and sell it. It might break the market one day—as no lazy person should be this productive, I will not allow it!
Hopefully, I don’t browse the Internet and see some Pokégear or something that I have to jump in here and talk about, by tweeting like an eleven year old girl.
Let me be lazy in peace. I need my nothingness—it’s what keeps me from doing nothing. That’s right, you heard me.
Anyways, keep safe, and leave a comment, or like or something, tell me what you thought about the latest Pokémon movie. I’ll be certainly telling myself in the comments what I though about it, so you should too. You can follow me on Twitter too, and say hey or something, I don’t bite, that’s just my buck tooth, nothing I’m ashamed of.
You know what, with my bipolar self, I might just be here tomorrow, so look out for a post next week. I feel motivated and energized. Happy and sad, dumb and smart. All, and none at the same time.
Sorry that’s the lack of sleep.
About to fall off this bed now. Peace.